Broken Hallelujah

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life." - James Allen.

Sometimes to live, you've got to sin.
Are you a saint or a sinner?
I am just a somewhere in between.
Don't mean I'm not a believer,
but all I've ever learned from existence
was that it never does.
Even angels have their wicked schemes
and you take that to new extremes.
All of the ghouls come out to play.
I can see no way.
So I'm gonna cut it out and then restart.
Cause I was looking for heaven,
but then found the devil in me.
It's not a cry that you hear at night
or somebody who's seen the light.
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.


*song references:
Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab
Hallelujah by Kate Voegele
I Love The Way You Lie (II) by Rihanna
Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

Death and All His Friends.

Those who are dead are not dead.

They're just living in my head.

— Coldplay -42

It was dark and windy in the late summer night,

where few leaves started to turn brown.

Death was walking all alone, smoking his last cigarette,

hope that nicotine would be able to warm his heart.

He sighed along the road, cause he couldn’t find something that he was looking for.

He felt lonely and empty, “I felt more alone than I have ever felt in my entire life,” he murmured.

He kept walking and smoked his cigar, hope it could also warm his soul.

There he was.

Death stopped.

Don’t ask why, he just did.

Death looked around and found Pain stood there with his somber countenance.

“What are you doing here?” Death asked.

Pain looked up and gazing directly through Death’s eyes.

“Waiting for you to find me.” Pain answered flatly.

“I’m not looking for you.”

“What a pity. Maybe Fate wants us belong together.”

“Follow me. Accompany me. Walk with me.”

There they were, walk together in the silence.

None of them would like to start a conversation.

At the corner of Death’s left eye, there was something glowing.

Something bright and white.

Death ignored it.

42 miles soon after they walk with no sound,

Death stopped, again.

This time, he distracted by the humming he heard.

Death approached him, a figure with the chanting in a nocturnal breezy wind.

“You found me.” He stated.

“And you are?” Death asked.

“Meet the Grief, sir.” He answered with a bow and kept humming.

“I don’t think I’m looking for you.”

“I don’t think you would find me either, sir. Maybe, Fate wants us belong together.”

“Follow me. Accompany me. Walk with me.”

Grief nodded and started to follow Death and Pain.

At least, they continue the midnight escapade with silence no more;

Grief showed how his melody of sorrow could alienate silence among them.

That flash light haunted Death.

It shone so bright it could burn his eyes.

Only a pair of his eyes could sense and see when others can’t.

Death avoided it.

Make him to turn around and took different roads.

Not too far from where Death found Grief, he stopped for the third time.

It was a solitary dark alley.

He saw a figure loaded with rage from his eyes.

He cursed then hit the brick with his bare hand.

Death walked towards him, Pain and Grief followed.

“Stop? You’ll hurt yourself.” Death said, full with caring in his tone.

“He’s Misery because he looks miserable, I can tell.” Pain stated like he could read Death’s mind.

Misery turned to the three of them and pointed his finger to Grief.

“Tell him to stop his mournful song first!”

“What are you doing here?” Death asked.

“I am mad! Can’t you see it?!”

Death tilted his head, Grief kept humming and Pain stare blankly thorough the empty street.

“Fate told me to wait here, in a dark stinky alley covered with puddle and mud. Awesome!”

Misery laughed bitterly, “Well, who knows I’m waiting for the three musketeers?”

“Follow me. Accompany me. Walk with me.”

“Do I have an option?” Misery asked sarcastically.

Death like any other front man, lead them.

Death like no other front man, take steps with no direction in his mind.

It was dark, so dark till no one can see other’s shadow.

Some said, it’s always darkest before the dawn.

It was a long journey.

There, four of them keep walking through the night.

Pain did nothing but let himself walked in silence.

Grief hummed still with a sorrowfulness rhythm as his favorite melody.

Misery couldn’t stop saying vicious words with his head looked up to the unclear canopy.

Death tried to make himself comfortable with his inconvenience feeling.

He now has friends who wanted to walk with him.

He’s grateful, yes he did.

It’s just didn’t feel right..

“Death?”

Death suddenly stopped his steps.

“I’m here. Can you see us?”

Death remains silent.

As far as he got to see was his 3 friends and oh!

The light.

“Who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you following me?”

The light appeared into 2 kinds of form;

A figure with a maroon gown, and other was wearing a violet dress.

“Why did you ignore us?” said the violet one.

“Answer me, or I won’t answer you.” Death snapped.

“I am Sincerity.”

“And I am Serenity.”

The maroon one and the violet one introduce themselves respectively.

“I am Death.”

“We know you,” said Sincerity. “Why did you ignore us?” as she repeat the same question.

“I thought your sweet moon beam was going to burn my eyes, so no, thank you.”

Death continued his step as he finished his words.

“You’re looking for a friend, aren’t you?” Serenity asked.

Death shuddered for a moment.

“You already have 3 but why do you think they’re not enough?”

Death thought about their words while he was looking towards his 3 new friends.

“Fate told me that I’m gonna through this night alone but I don’t want to be alone! I wanna have friends.”

“So you chose to be with them?” Sincerity questioned as she pointed the three of the other symbol of opaqueness.

“I have no choice,” Death answered. "Everywhere I looked there was Pain with his capability to not give words that don’t matter. Then I met Grief who give me another perspective to enjoy his lullaby in the darkness of the night and don’t forget about Misery. I feel pity for him because he keeps asking about the reason why he was there and blame it to the empty clouds. You know why I have no choice? Because no matter what road I chose to go down, there was no other option." Death said furiously.

“You do have options.” Serenity braces herself up to talk.

“No, I don’t!” Death shouted to the 2 figures.

Sincerity mediates the two of them, “We followed you around. Hoping that you might want to take a look at us and ask us to be with you through the night.”

“Fate doesn’t want you to be alone.” Serenity continued.

“I’m not alone anymore. I have friends. Look! I’ve got 3.” He lifted his fist to the air.

“Really? Are they friends or just a great companion to spend the night?” Sincerity said like she got the point.

Death fell silent.

“If you let yourself take Sincerity’s hand, I will follow you and you might find what you’re looking for.” Serenity proposed to Death.

“Will you?” Sincerity asked as she stretched out her hand.

Death seemed doubtful.

The silence crawled by; Death froze.